7: focus

It has been seven months since starting interns and a lot has happened!
Every time the 11th comes around I find myself to be startled that it is time to write another blog post yet again and that the year is moving along at quite a pace.
Just yesterday we had our photoshoot for the grad pictures and what a strange feeling that was!
Thinking about taking the photos stressed me out a bit because I knew that these would be the pictures I would hang up on my wall, keep forever and show to my kids in twenty years when I tell them about interns.
It feels like the year went by to fast, like I’m not ready to be done, not reached the goals I wanted to achieve and need more preperation.
However when thinking back to September it’s even stranger!
While it’s weird that the year is almost over it’s also weird to think it has only been seven 1/2 months when looking at how much has happened.

Two weeks ago we went to East Hastings in Downtown Vancouver. East Hastings is a particularly bad part of the city, if not the worst, filled with homeless people who are in most cases addicted to drugs. We had packed little bags with food, snacks and a pop and there we were, seven kids with 80 bags and expectations.
These bags were gone like nothing, in less then 5 minutes we had no more food and people asking us for food because they didn’t get any.
It was shocking to actually see the quantity of the need and how unprepared we were.
Also people were suspicious of us showing a genuine interest in their wellbeing and it broke my heart to talk to one woman and realize there is nothing I can do to stop her from prostituting herself that night.

Now we are 3 days away from flying to Africa to tell people about Jesus and it has got me wondering: why on earth do I think I’m qualified to tell these people about who Jesus it? I am not even capable of figuring my own life out or telling the cashier at Safeway about Jesus.
But thinking about it also got me to really realize that it is God who provides for me, it is God who qualifies me, it is God who I hold on to to not be shaken.
Maybe this is why Paul said in the bible that we should rejoice when we are facing trouble because it produces character (Romans 5:3-5).
It gets you to proof the thing you are building on.
It gets you to foolproof your foundation.
So this is just another exercise to strengthen my trust but also my dependence on God.
I can’t do any of the things I am require to do over there on my own.
I’ll just be the tool.

But oh am I excited!!
I love flying and airports and travel in general, but to do it with 30 of my favourite people and to proclaim the good news that Jesus is alive is the best things ever!!
How exciting that these two weeks will literally combine all these amazing things I love to do and while I get to do some of my favourite things and have them add to my life I am given the opportunity to serve people and hopefully add to their lives!

As you can tell I am quite torn between utter amazement and panic.
I am scared, but it’s the really good kinda scared 😉

So while I collect things to help me be the best me I can be by Gods grace I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement so so much!
It’s all God, not me, so you praying for it is amazing and will actually help to move things and make them happen so much!

I love y’all and I cannot wait to write the next post which will be lengthy and full of sunburn and smiles!

Excited and terrified,

Paula

 

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